You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
