You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm sobbing to NWA
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
