why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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