absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
