As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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