I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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