I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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