I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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