I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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