loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
