After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
