I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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