Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
