You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
