Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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