yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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