and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
