; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need help removing her.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
