we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
