I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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