Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
