I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
