It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
