Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
