so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
