Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
