quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
