Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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