I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Damn victory sex feels great
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
