gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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