Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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