I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
