I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
