I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
