naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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