since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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