I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
