Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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