I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
