I think my vagina is haunted
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
