Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This is my gift to your gina
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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