I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
