Don't make out with my wife yet
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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