member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
