When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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