Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dick very happy bro
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
