Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
