I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Someone shattered a urinal.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
