Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
