college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
