it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize