Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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