8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
