My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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