True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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